Of course we love our children, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes they get on our nerves. They may be moody or come home with terrible grades in their diary. And sometimes parents just need to convey their thoughts to them, talk to them about what needs to be adjusted in their behavior. We are all human, and even adults are sometimes overwhelmed by emotions that turn into carelessly thrown phrases that can not only offend a child, but become the culprit of his complexes, ideas about his own inadequacy and dislike of his parents. Sometimes we ourselves do not realize the damage our words can cause.
As Dr. Meg Meeker, pediatrician, mother, and author of six parenting books, says, the language we use to communicate with our children is of the utmost importance: “I've heard a lot of phrases that parents say to their children with the best of intentions, but which they never say at all.” costs. I always try to approach things from a child's point of view. What does the child see, what does the child hear, what does the child gain from this?”
One of the most common phrases that parents say to their children, according to Meeker, is: "You're driving me crazy". Perhaps, in certain situations, each of us has uttered these words at least once in our lives. But when told to a child, they can have the most devastating consequences. Even if at some point your child stops listening to you, starts screaming and jumping loudly when you want to rest, cry in line at the store, or whines and refuses to get dressed when you urgently need to take him to kindergarten, try to inform him about your emotions in the right form.
There is another phrase that seems softer to parents, but in essence is no different from the above: "I love you, but I don't like you right now". "It's a way of saying, 'You're driving me crazy,'" says Dr. Meeker. “The child understands it this way: you really don’t love me.”
Do not forget that it is from their parents that children learn what love and self-esteem are.
And if a child becomes entrenched in the idea that his mom and dad don’t value him or care about him, then this can have a long-term negative effect on him. It would seem like one phrase, but the harm is colossal.
The way a parent communicates with their child is critical to the child's development. If the example that mom and dad show their children is negative, then they will learn from it (for lack of anything else). "I think parents don't realize the impact their behavior has on their children," Dr. Meeker said. – Of course, children begin to imitate them. If a parent screams, then the child also becomes a habit. If a parent constantly criticizes a child, then the child begins to criticize first himself, and then everyone around him.” Although this may seem like an exaggeration to some, parents must remember that they are the ones who shape and guide their children. These children eventually grow up and become adults.
How can you tell your child about your feelings and emotions or ask him for something in a way that will benefit and not harm?
One of the most important pieces of advice from child psychologists is this: try to eliminate denials from advice or requests addressed to children.
They are sure that phrases beginning with the preposition “not” or the word “impossible” are very difficult for children to perceive. The whole point is that a small child has to deal with double processing of information. That is, when you say the phrase “you can’t do it,” the child internalizes it and waits for the continuation of the phrase about what you can do. But it shouldn't. Therefore, all prohibitions must be presented in a positive way. That is, instead of emphasizing what is unresolved, say something that you have nothing against.
Thus, the usual phrases (“don’t argue with me”, “you can’t shout so loudly here” and many others) should be modified so that the child understands you correctly and takes the information into account. What other popular parenting tips and requests need to be worded differently?
Do not scream
The child may not hear himself from the outside and may not know that he is speaking loudly. Sometimes it’s enough just to tell him about it. A correct analogue of this phrase could be: “Please speak a little quieter”. If you add a reason for your request (for example, “because mommy has a headache”), you will achieve a better effect.
Do not touch
As a rule, this phrase is said in order to protect one’s personal belongings from children’s attacks or in order to protect a child from the negative impact of a dangerous object. If you thus forbid your child to rummage through your jewelry box, these words will remain incomprehensible to him: “Why is my mother allowed, but I myself am not allowed?” If this is an attempt to prevent the child from getting burned on a hot iron, then it will also not be very fruitful. Let's say this time the baby, frightened by the loud sound of your voice, removes his hand. But this will not prevent similar cases in the future, because for a child, an iron is one object, and it does not matter whether it is cold or hot.
How, then, do you tell children that certain objects should not be touched? Until a certain period, until the child can understand the cause-and-effect relationship, it is better to secure the house yourself: remove dangerous objects, close sockets. If you're annoyed that he's taking your makeup, just don't leave it where he can get it. After 4-5 years, it is worth explaining in detail to your child what exactly should not be done in order to avoid bad consequences. Some psychologists advise replace the word “impossible” with “dangerous”– in this situation it is more informative.
Do not run
This request will most likely confuse the child because he sees other children running around on the street and does not understand why he cannot behave in the same way at home. If you calmly explain to him why you don't want him to behave this way, he will listen to you. Phrase “please go home calmly” will convey the essence of your request much better.
Do not lie
The phrase “don’t lie” sounds threatening in itself, doesn’t it? Moreover, it is practically useless. If a child does not want to tell the truth to his parents, then he obviously has his own reasons, which should be paid attention to by wiser adults. If children know that they will certainly be punished for what they did, will they want to be honest? The child will not lie to you out of malice. If a daughter used a calculator to solve problems, it was not because she wanted to upset mom and dad. Instead of scolding her, practice math with her and explain the unclear topic.
When you need to find out the truth, you should be diplomatic and refrain from impulsive threats. For example, if you want to understand whether your son was involved in a school fight, then you do not need to ask him about it directly (understanding in advance that it is easier for him to answer “no”), and then immediately accuse him of lying. Some things are difficult for our children to say out loud; the task of adults is to help, maintaining trust, and not to hurt or offend. Try to start the conversation like this: “I wanted to ask you about this... You may not answer me right away, because I understand that the situation is not easy. Be that as it may, you know that I still love you and it is very important to me that we can trust each other.”
It is also worth remembering that children are always guided by their parents’ example. If older family members periodically catch each other in “little lies,” why should a child tell the truth and only the truth?
Don't get dirty
Until a certain age, a child does not see the difference between clean and dirty clothes. When doing a normal thing, playing in the sandbox, for example, he may be awkward and do everything sloppy because he is carried away by the process. If you explain everything to him calmly, then next time he will try very hard so as not to upset his mother, who is proud of him. Instead of scolding for uncleanliness, try to focus your child's attention on the positive side of the issue: “Being clean is beautiful. I really like it when I have you clean. So please be more careful next time."
Don't throw toys around
This ban is inherently meaningless. How many children have you seen who, while playing, did not create at least a little chaos around themselves? Or could you prepare dinner for your family yourself without getting a single piece of cutlery, dish or pot dirty? Of course no. Therefore, first of all, you yourself should take a calmer attitude towards this collateral damage of children's games. Gradually, you can teach your child to be independent: turn the process of cleaning up toys into a game and invite him to join in.
Don't be stupid
A child may decide that he is stupid, without even knowing the true meaning of this word, but in adulthood, this can develop into a complex. After all, with these words you evaluate his mental activity. If you want to point out to your child more reasonable behavior in the current situation, do it using a different wording: “You’re very smart, let’s try to do it like this”.
Don't poke your nose into someone else's business
A child can be greatly offended by the fact that he is not taken into account. He will continue to interfere because he will undoubtedly be affected by the injustice of the situation. If you and your husband are having an important conversation, and your children are only distracting you from it, explain to them: “Your opinion is very important to dad and me, but now we are discussing boring work/uninteresting everyday issues. Maybe you can play Lego or watch a cartoon for now? As soon as we are free, we will play with you together.” It is very important to find something else for your child to do while you are busy with your own affairs. If your baby is at a very young age, then sometimes you have to adjust your plans to suit his needs - a prudent offer to arrange his own leisure time will not help here. If he is very tired, then it is better to put him to bed, and then discuss with his husband the utility bills for the past month.
Don't eat so much candy
The child does not understand that if you eat a lot of sweets, it will negatively affect your health. Sweets are delicious, and therefore it’s difficult to stop. Try to come to an agreement with him in another way: “If you eat all the marmalade at one time, then there will be nothing left for tomorrow. Let's divide it into two (or more) servings? . If he knows that the supply of sweets is not endless, he will want to prolong the pleasure.
Do not argue
It is useless to argue with an adult who does not understand you, just as it is useless to argue with a child. If you give an ultimatum: “We won’t go anywhere until you put on a hat - and don’t argue with me,” then you put the child in a position without the right to vote. And all people do not like this, regardless of their age. If a child feels that his opinion and desires are not listened to at all, then he not only becomes convinced that in this world everything is decided by strength and power, but also loses the opportunity to build a trusting relationship with you, as well as acquire the communication skills necessary for adult life . Invite him to look for solutions that will suit both him and you: “You don’t want to wear the blue hat because you don’t like it? How about a red Spider-Man hat? .
Or, for example, there are situations when the child really wants to take a longer walk, and you need to get home as soon as possible and cook dinner. Instead of saying, “We're going home now, period,” describe the situation to your son or daughter in detail: “I understand how much you want to go out, and the weather is wonderful today. But I need to have time to prepare dinner before dad gets home from work. Can you imagine how upset our beloved dad will be if he comes home tired and doesn’t find anything to eat? Let’s help me prepare dinner today, and tomorrow we’ll come to this hill early in the morning?” .
Don `t cry
If your child is upset about something or experiences physical discomfort, give him the opportunity to tell you about it. Without knowing it, he wants to be pitied, and if he does not achieve his goal, he only multiplies his efforts. Pay attention to what is bothering him and offer to try to solve this problem together.
Don't put dirty hands in your mouth
Don't shout or, even worse, hit the child's hands. How can he know that putting dirt in his mouth is harmful? If you are concerned about your child’s health, then approach this issue in a playful way. For example, teach him poem about the dangers of dirty objects.
And never forget that we, parents, are the main role models for our children.
“Parents need to understand that their children are always looking at them,” Dr. Meeker concludes. – Children don't really know who they are or what their identity is, what they should believe or even what they should feel. Therefore, they are constantly looking for clues as to what the parent is thinking about them. Receiving such tips, they internalize them - this is how their personality is formed.”
Most modern parents still have problems raising children, and the main question for parents is whether... After all, the child himself cannot understand what he can do and what he cannot do. Of course, parents mostly consult with friends or relatives or look for information on the Internet, but if you think about it, all those people who advise you something do not understand this issue themselves, having no experience in this problem.
You can continue to listen to them, but as you can see for yourself, it doesn’t give you any results. Psychologists have found out the main reasons and methods that will help you understand how to correctly explain to your child about prohibitions, and have applied these tips to other families. To the surprise of psychologists, all 100% of parents who followed their advice solved this problem in almost 3-4 days. Your choice is yours, listen to family and friends who know little about this, for the sake of respect, or solve the problem once and for all.
What do you want to prohibit your child from?
The first and most important problem on the way to solving the issue how to properly explain to a child about prohibitions, lies in the fact that parents themselves do not understand what to prohibit their child. You probably also don’t understand what you want from your child, and you’re already creating a problem that doesn’t make sense. Calm down, take and write down everything that you are going to forbid your child to do, see and think. This is more effective than just pointlessly thinking and worrying about something.
You need to act, and for this you need to understand what you want from your child. Prohibitions should be within reason, because you love your child and want him to live a healthy, happy and free life. It is necessary to select those prohibitions that can harm the child. Psychologists highlight the most important and common prohibitions that can harm a child: television, smoking, alcohol, crime, theft, offensive words, the Internet, the wrong company. This is only a small part of the list, but you get the basics. Make your list by thinking carefully about the problem.
The child does not want to listen to your prohibitions.
An equally common problem on the way to solving the question of how to correctly explain to a child about prohibitions is that the child simply does not want to listen to you and continues to do what you prohibit. It was immediately proven here that screaming and physical use will not help. We need a different approach, a psychological one. Since all children are different, you need to either study your child yourself or consult a psychologist. But in any case, you can just read the article: how to raise an obedient child, which will help you solve your problem, which is preventing you from solving the issue and the main problem. Of course, a child does not need cruel control, and constantly monitoring what a child does forbidden does not make sense. You need to learn how to explain it correctly to your child, share your own experience and show by example how good or bad it is. Words play a small role, but if you back them up with a vision so that the child can see for himself how it is, then you will no longer need to control the child, since he himself knows that this is bad.
How to properly explain to a child
First of all, you need not only to be able to forbid a child to do something, you just need to learn to explain to your child about the prohibitions. Anyone can forbid a child something, but few can tell, show and explain. In fact, everything is simple, you need to allocate 1 day of your life for all this. This day will be dedicated only to the child. On this beautiful day, you need to have a difficult time constantly talking about what is possible and what is not. You just need to have a good time together, start trusting, respecting and loving each other. Without this, the subsequent conversation will be meaningless. Determine the place where you will spend this day together, immediately decide on the topics of conversation, prepare your child for a pleasant time. Everything should not be very serious and forced.
If the child does not want to, put it off until the next day. In the process of communicating with your child, when you have begun to trust, understand and love each other, start a conversation about life. Ask your child about what he wants to achieve in life, whether he has a dream, goals, whether he is happy, and what he needs to be completely happy. Then casually hint that in order for him to achieve his dream, he needs to give up certain bad habits, poor lifestyle and everything that is on your list. You won’t believe it, but 100% of the tested families who used this method improved the condition in the family on that very day; they no longer need to control their children, since they themselves understand that this cannot be done, as this will prevent them from achieving their dreams and become happy.
Spend more time with your family and children
Every family has Problems, have been and will be, but in order to explain to a child what he should not do, it is better to explain to him how to live if you yourself have experience. Since the problem is not in the children, but in the parents, who themselves have not yet learned to live, and, moreover, have bad habits and commit prohibitions that they want to prohibit their children. If you do the same, then understand that the child is the smartest person, he copies his parents, and will do everything that the parent does. Therefore, change yourself first if you want your children to change. There is no point in teaching your child something that you yourself do not understand well. Love your children, appreciate every mistake they make, give them a chance to correct it themselves.
Spend more time with your family and children; if work does not allow you to do this, then realize that work or family is more important to you. After all, you can spend time with your family and work, combining business with pleasure. Everything is in your hands, your mind will do whatever you want, you just need to learn to think and think correctly, which everyone can do. If you want to develop creative abilities in your child, which is quite simple, read the article: teaching children to draw, because when a child is busy with some activity, he will not have time for bad things.
If you have experience, knowledge or have an opinion about this issue and problem, write your thoughts in the comments. If you have any problems or questions related to this topic, feel free to ask them in the comments.
“Every little baby gets out of swaddling clothes and gets lost and is everywhere!” Sung cheerfully in a funny children's song about naughty monkeys. When does a child begin to actively explore? the world, sometimes with very destructive force, he faces a number of certain restrictions from his parents.
What is possible and what is not? Some parents prefer to follow the path of least resistance and raise their child in permissive conditions. Is it correct?
What is good and what is bad
Some parents may complain that the child does not understand the word “no”. You may be hysterical and tearing your hair out, but your child simply cannot hear you. It should be remembered that the word “impossible” is by no means magical and cannot instantly transform a raging scoundrel into a silken and obedient angel. In order for the communication between the child and the parent to be successful, and the child to begin to respond adequately to your remarks, prohibitions and restrictions, you need to work hard.
Often the very word “no” can cause protest in a child. This word becomes a kind of irritant if you pronounce it constantly. The child will either do everything contrary to the prohibition or simply not respond to the parent’s “no”. The latter most often happens if the word “impossible” is heard constantly and at every step and simply loses its meaning. But how can you explain to a child how to behave without resorting to this word? Quite simple. Introduce its synonyms into use.
When to say "no"
A child of the first years of life must understand the difference between the word “impossible” and the words “not necessary”, “not good”, “dangerous” or “indecent”. If you use various prohibiting synonyms in a certain context, the prohibition itself will not cause a clear protest in the child.
But how can you explain to a child that you can’t do this or that?
A prohibition indicated by the word “impossible” must be based on the fact that the prohibited action may cause harm to the physical or psychological state of the child or others. For example, you should not touch electrical wires, stick your fingers into a socket, or touch a gas stove - this is dangerous to life and health. You cannot beat, call names, or humiliate others - this is offensive and unpleasant. The child must understand that behind the word “no” there is obvious harm hidden.
By resorting to synonyms “shouldn’t”/“not necessary”, you explain to the child that such behavior is unacceptable in society or that what the child wants is now inappropriate. For example, “there is no need to spill cereal on the carpet.” With such a restriction, you do not prohibit the child from doing something, but simply correct it: do not pour cereal on the carpet, take a bowl.
Why is the water wet?
With age, some prohibitions lose their relevance, and prohibited actions become clear and obvious to the child. Old prohibitions are being replaced by new ones. It is clear that a ten-year-old child will not stick his finger into a socket and try to climb into a pan of boiling water.
The era of “why” comes to replace the baby’s research activities. Many parents shudder to wait for the period of endless children's questions, which often lead to a stupor.
- Why is the water wet?
- Why does the sun shine?
- Why is the ladybug called that?
Under no circumstances should you brush off an inquisitive baby like an annoying fly. You should stock up on patience and continue to explore this world together. Moreover, now there are a lot of opportunities for this and Google is always at hand. It was much more difficult for past generations when they had to flip through more than one encyclopedia at their leisure in search of answers to tricky children's questions.
Adult questions from the mouth of a baby
Don't be scared or embarrassed by your child's inappropriate questions. It should be understood that he has no idea what he is asking about. And if the child asks to explain what some obscene word means, you should not ask the child to immediately forget it and never utter it. This will arouse even greater interest on the part of the baby; the same protest may awaken, and the child will repeat the bad word out of spite.
The worst thing is if the child loses trust in the parent and goes looking for help on the outside. It is important to treat any, even the most obscene, questions calmly and try to explain to the child whether it is good or bad.
When faced with a situation where a child still unconsciously uses bad words, you should not show strong emotions. In this case, even a bad word will not have a strong impression on the child, and will soon be completely forgotten.
How to explain to a child whether it is possible to use certain words?
If the child himself is interested in the meaning of a bad word, he should explain what it means, but make a remark that well-educated and intelligent people do not use such words. You can enhance the effect of perception by asking: do you consider yourself a well-mannered boy/girl?
If the child has an idol, you can focus on him, saying that this character does not use swear words. If, in the process of explaining a swear word, you express your position too emotionally, categorically forbidding the child to remember and utter swear words, this will cause a backlash. The child will understand that bad words evoke strong emotions, and will take advantage of this. If you don’t attach much importance to this and simply explain to your child that by using swear words, he himself may not look in the best light or be ridiculed, you most likely will not encounter this problem again.
It is impossible to protect a child from all sources of “bad words”. But it is necessary to correctly explain their meaning and the need for use in conversation. You certainly shouldn’t turn a blind eye to this.
Cabbage, stork, store or maternity hospital?
Sooner or later, a period comes when the child asks mom and dad where he came from. It is unlikely that modern parents, embarrassed, will mutter something like: they bought it in a store, the stork brought it, or they found it in cabbage. Sex education of a child with early years considered the norm. But should we limit ourselves to just a romantic story about how dad and mom loved each other and wanted a child, and then dad gave mom a seed that grew in mom’s stomach and so on? How to correctly explain to a child how children are born?
It is very important not to limit the child’s right to ask questions about such “adult things” and receive honest answers to them. Questions regarding gender differences, as well as intimate life, are normal and are considered a sign of the baby’s proper development.
It is very important to be extremely sincere and truthful when answering such questions. The child must see that his question did not cause a feeling of shame in his parents, in which case he will perceive the information adequately.
You need to talk to your child about sex and having children in age-appropriate language. And if it is enough for a 3-4 year old child to simply say that he came from his mother’s belly, then older children can already demand specifics. Here you can tell a fairy tale about daddy's seed, which grew in his tummy and turned into a baby. And when the baby became cramped, he was born.
Conversation “about this”
If the child does not show interest in this topic, then sooner or later the parents will have to provoke the conversation on their own. The optimal age for starting sex education is 6-7 years. This is the age when a child begins to explore the world around him with the help of feelings and empathy.
It is worth telling your child that sympathy arises between people, which can develop into love. You can ask your child to explain in his own words how he understands these terms and what love means to him. What does it mean to love mom and dad, and what does it mean to feel sympathy for your classmate Masha?
You shouldn’t be ashamed to talk to your children “about this” and think about how to explain such a complex matter to your child. A child will perceive a story about the relationship between a man and a woman in exactly the same way and with the same interest as a story about the construction of an alarm clock.
When talking about sex with your child, it is important not to form a taboo in his mind. The child must understand that sex is natural and normal, but is the prerogative of adults, and intimate relationships are not usually advertised.
What if we don't talk about it?
Of course, you can let everything go and not talk to your child about frank topics if he doesn’t show interest. One might naively believe that before marriage a person will prefer to watch cartoons and do puzzles, and then everything will work out by itself. The child does not ask adult questions - and it’s good that the parent’s back does not break out in a cold sweat, and in general, they will teach you everything at school. And more knowledgeable peers will embellish.
Parents decide for themselves whether sex education for children is mandatory within the family. But you need to be aware that frank conversations with the child, support and understanding increase confidence in parents. Of course, today children can independently obtain any information on the Internet and satisfy their inquisitive minds. But the child should know that frank topics in the family are not kept under lock and key, that parents are always ready to help him and explain everything.
Why aren't mom and dad together?
When explaining to a child the concepts of love, tenderness and procreation using the example of parental relationships, you can sometimes encounter the child’s question “why don’t mom and dad live together if they love each other.” This applies to families where parents are divorced. The idyllic picture of love and harmony between a man and a woman presented to a child can be shattered by a harsh, contradictory reality.
How to explain your parents' divorce to your child? In no case should parents turn against each other, exchanging mutual accusations, even when this is difficult. The child must understand that dad is not a scoundrel who abandoned mom. It is important to explain to the child that dad and mom love and respect each other, but they can no longer live together.
It is worth explaining to the child that in life, in addition to love and passion, there may be separations, and you need to put up with this and move on, maintaining a good relationship. To a small child It will be enough to see that the parents have maintained peace, albeit at a distance. And the grown-up child will independently put together the puzzle of parental relationships.
It is no secret that a person can graduate from school twice: the first time on his own, and subsequent times together with his children. When children go to school, they gain new knowledge, and their parents revive their previously acquired knowledge. School challenges can often take parents by surprise. The school curriculum changes every year, but its fundamentals remain the same. And parents should know how to clearly explain the basic rules to their child.
At school, the child receives a lot of information, so the task of the parent at home is to systematize the knowledge acquired by the child and together sort out incomprehensible or difficult points.
How to explain division to a child? Lessons with mom
Parents often wonder how to explain division to their child in an understandable language, but at the same time without resorting to dividing vegetables and fruits or distributing sweets among Mash and Sing. The candies were divided, but the principle itself was not understood.
A cartoon about 38 parrots will come to the rescue, in which a boa constrictor was measured by parrots. Explain to your child that the basic principle of division is to determine how many times a smaller number fits into a larger one. For example, 6:2 is to find how many twos fit into a six.
Schoolchildren also often encounter misunderstandings of cases. Seemingly simple concepts cause difficulties in perception, and children often ask their parents to explain them. How to explain cases to a child easily and simply?
You can use as an example a sentence in which all words are used in the nominative case “sister is reading a book”, “a neighbor is walking his dog”. Hearing how ridiculous such sentences sound, the child will understand the importance of using cases and the important role the ending of a word plays.
And the cases themselves are easy to explain by introducing logical questions to them. For example, accusative case - blame who/what? (porridge, cup, pillow), dative case - give to whom/what? (porridge, cup, pillow) and so on. These examples clearly show how to explain cases to a child playfully and easily.
Let's talk about spirituality
Who is God? What is it for and where does it live? It is likely that parents will have to face similar questions. Naturally, the parent’s answer will be justified by his personal attitude towards religion. Of course, you can cultivate a convinced atheist, categorically declaring that there is no God, and all this is nonsense. Science rules the world.
How to correctly explain to a child who God is? A parent cannot be categorical on this issue, instilling his beliefs, whether he is an ardent atheist or a pious believer. It is necessary to provide the child with alternative information in order for him to form a correct idea of the Universe.
You need to introduce your child to the Bible and tell him that this book describes basic human values. After reading the children's Bible, the child will certainly have a general understanding of religion and human relationships, of good and evil. And the question of how to explain to a child who God is and where he lives will disappear by itself.
It is necessary to explain to the child that science is progress and practicality, and religion is, first of all, love. Tell that both of these concepts can exist in symbiosis and coexist in one person. The main thing is to sow in the child’s mind the beginnings of an understanding of both, and not at all to deny one in favor of the other.
Talking about spiritual things is as necessary as explaining to a child the clock, time and how the world works.
How to explain the word “no” to a child. How to properly protect your baby from dangers?
Parents often complain that their one-year-old tomboys do not understand the word “impossible” - they laugh and deliberately reach for the “forbidden fruit,” looking slyly at their parents.
This instills horror in inexperienced mothers and fathers: now the child is fiddling with the plug in the socket, now he is clicking the handles of the stove, now he is reaching into a mug of boiling water... How can you explain to a child that you can’t do something dangerous?
Tree with forbidden fruits
The more you can’t, the more you want – even adults know this. Therefore, the magic word in its categorical form should be heard infrequently in your apartment and only in serious situations.
It is believed that a child cannot remember ten prohibitions at once. Up to a year, enter one or two “don’ts,” then every year add a couple more undesirable actions.
All this applies only to those things that pose a real danger to life - electricity, boiling water, fire, roadway, heights.
The behavior of grandmothers walking with their grandchildren and forbidding everything on the way is completely unpedagogical: you can’t touch a leaf on the sidewalk, you can’t move a piece of snags, you can’t poke around in the ground.
Firstly, it encourages the child to protest against prohibitions. 
Secondly, it interferes with his cognitive activity. After all, it is by stepping into a puddle and touching a dirty chestnut that he gains experience and knowledge about the world around him.
The word "cannot" must reinforced by your stern appearance(no smiles, winks or giggles), a displeased tone and immediate cessation of the dangerous activity.
Moreover, the ban must be immutable- Neither mom nor dad allows it, neither tomorrow nor the day after tomorrow. And, of course, all prohibitions must be explained patiently.
If a child categorically does not understand and continues to climb where it is not necessary, some psychologists allow him to lightly slap him on the butt, pinch him or hit him on the arm. This is not about physical violence!
It’s just that a slow-witted baby must learn to associate a socket with unpleasant sensations.
There is also a way to protect a child from dangers based on his personal experience. Introduce him to the concepts of “hot”, “cold”, “hurt” in microdoses.
Allow me to dip one finger into hot tea, bite off a piece of a pie that hasn’t cooled down, prick myself on a needle, get slightly injured by paper, touch a warm teapot, put out a candle. If he falls, take pity and explain: “you’re hurt.”
The baby will forever remember the sensations, and next time a verbal warning will be enough.
Come up with mythical creature, which “lives” in an outlet or on a landing - Babai, evil Uncle Tok, Koschey, and so on. Scare the playful kid that Babai will come and bite him if he doesn’t stop.
Most The best way protect the child from dangers - secure the house. Of course, it is impossible to isolate a baby in a nursery filled with mattresses and plush toys.
But you can put plugs on sockets, silicone tips on sharp corners, door locks, and thereby reduce the risks.
Lexicon
What about actions that are not dangerous, but are unpleasant for parents? If we left the word “impossible” for electricity and stove, then how can we explain that my mother mobile phone no need to throw it in the toilet?
Expand your vocabulary and arsenal of gestures and facial expressions! “You shouldn’t do that”, “this is dangerous”, “this is a bad game”, “ah-yay-yay”, “mom is angry”, “it’s dad’s, he will be unhappy”, “it’s someone else’s”.
You can also make a surprised or frightened face, whistling and inhaling the interjections “Ahhh!”, “Oh-oh-oh!”, “Oh! Oh!". Sometimes if you just call your child's name and wag your finger, he will put your things back. 
Offer an alternative: “you don’t need to scatter your brother’s things, he will be upset, but you can take apart the dollhouse”, “throwing slippers at the TV is a bad game, but putting together a puzzle is a good game”, “it’s dangerous to open the door to the balcony, but you can open your drawer and put the toys there "
This way you will brighten up the ban, distract from negative thoughts and switch the child to another activity.
Do not hesitate to explain to your child in detail what is not allowed and what is possible, and Why. Children are very smart even at a young age!
In the second year of a baby’s life, the question of how to explain the word “no” to a child becomes especially acute. It is during this period, having just learned to walk, that the baby begins to master the world by leaps and bounds, climb everywhere, try everything - which is not always safe. And here the parental “no” begins to especially actively accompany all the child’s actions. What can he do? That's right, actively resist! How to prevent scandals and explain the word “no” to your child?
Training in handling dangerous objects
It will never be possible to completely remove all dangerous and unwanted objects from a child’s field of vision. Even if you insert plugs into all sockets, equip the cabinet doors with special hooks, hide all the needles, scissors and knitting needles, the baby may become interested in, for example, a knife.
Explaining the word “impossible” to a child in this case is quite difficult - after all, it will be difficult for him to understand why he should not touch these objects, because the mother uses a knife so deftly - and is not at all afraid! Therefore, it is worth teaching your child how to handle dangerous objects or instill in him that he does not need such an object.
Consistency in some prohibitions
It is necessary that permanent prohibitions be and remain unchanged regardless of various conditions. If today you allow him to wallow in the mud, and tomorrow you strictly forbid him, the baby will be disoriented, and your authority in his eyes will fall.
By the way, in order to explain the word “impossible” to a child, you need to agree on the uniformity of prohibitions with other family members: so that it doesn’t turn out that the mother forbids something, but the grandmother allows it, and vice versa. The whole family must strictly adhere to the general policy of “dos” and “don’ts” in matters of constant prohibitions.
There shouldn't be too many "don'ts"
Absolutely everything cannot be forbidden to a child – neither for psychological nor for pedagogical reasons. After all, if a child lives in a state of “one step to the left, one step to the right - execution”, he is deprived of the opportunity to experience the world in all its diversity, and from the constant prohibitions and screams of his parents, he grows up complex and embittered.
Therefore, you should not multiply prohibitions exponentially - it is enough to define for yourself, for example, 5 permanent prohibitions. After all, not everything should be prohibited - sometimes it is easier to eliminate the accessibility of a dangerous object for a child. For example, there is no escape from the ban on approaching the stove - after all, you cannot hide the stove from a child. And in this case it is necessary to explain the word “impossible” to the child. But the prohibition not to touch the knife may not be introduced into your everyday life - after all, the knife can always be easily put away.
Reasonableness and the presence of prohibitions
A “golden mean” is needed in everything. There shouldn’t be a huge number of prohibitions, but permissiveness has never led to good results in raising a child. If you don’t explain the word “no” to your child in time and allow him everything, he can grow overly self-confident or end up in an unpleasant and sometimes even dangerous situation. There should be prohibitions, because they structure the world around him, make it organized - and, from his point of view, safer. But prohibitions must be reasonable - and only those things that can lead to disastrous consequences for the child, if allowed, should be prohibited.
How to explain the word “no” to a child
Many mothers, seeing how their little one is reaching for a hot kettle, instantly hit the child’s hands. This is not true - after all, a baby’s hands are the main tool for understanding the world. It is through tactile sensations that he receives information about the life around him. If he constantly receives blows to his hands, he will soon begin to be afraid to do anything with them at all. And this will not have a positive effect on either his development or his character. 
If you tell your child “no”, say it in a calm, but stern and confident tone. Under no circumstances should you shout or express your irritation in any way. The child simply stops perceiving information mixed with a scream - the scream stuns him, and the baby’s brain turns off. And if you say “no” hesitantly, the child will feel it and will not consider it necessary to do something that even the mother doubts is correct!
When you try to explain the word “no” to your child, look him in the eyes. This is a good psychological move to convince your child that what you say is really important.
Don’t be afraid to repeat your prohibitions and carry or lead your child away from a dangerous object - it’s rare that a child understands everything the first time. Usually he tries again and again until he himself understands that this is not necessary and learns the word “impossible”, which constantly accompanies his certain action.
Sometimes you can let your child carry out his plans - for example, let him touch the hot kettle (but under your supervision). When the baby feels the hot surface, he will withdraw his finger and is unlikely to want to repeat his “experiment.”
